HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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