Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
