She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
