Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
