only if we run a train.
done.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
