I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
