Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
