you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
