check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Holy sore nipples Batman
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
