Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
