I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
