your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
