I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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