apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
