Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We left the knife in your bed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
