ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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