Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
