I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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