Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
