In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
