I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
