i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
