I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
