i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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