and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
