Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
