Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
