lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
