She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
