my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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