Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
