i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
