She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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