I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My cat gives me a boner
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
