A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
