Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it glows. i had to have it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
