She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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