Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
