so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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