My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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