If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
well you can't waste a boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
