I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
