Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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