so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I smell like Dick and happiness
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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