Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
