So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
