Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
