what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
