yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We talked him into tasing himself.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
