Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
