I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
